Overheard in New York.
*Little boy dancing in circles: Challah for a dollah! Challah for a dollah!
Babysitter: Holla? Like “holla back”?
Little boy, stopping dancing: No, fool! The bread! (resumes singing and dancing)
*Hipster boy, texting: So is it “in-” or “impregnate”?
Hipster girl: I’m pretty sure it’s “impregnate.”
Hipster boy: Impregnate? Like an imp?
Hipster girl: Everyone hearing you thinks you’re fucking retarded.
Hipster boy: Well, at least I’m not an imp.
*Blue collar guy to random guy holding a musical instrument: I wish I had a harpsichord. I’d put on an old fashioned movie and play it in the dark. You wouldn’t even need a drink!
Musical guy: A drink wouldn’t hurt.
Blue collar guy: No, it wouldn’t. (takes a bottle of rum out of his pocket and takes a swig)
*Drunk girl on bike #1: How’s your nose?
Drunk girl on bike #2: How’s your neck?
Drunk girl on bike #1: Hey, all I’m saying is that I’d rather get a hickey from a random boy I don’t know than break my nose by falling off my bike. (falls off her bike) Shiiiiiiiiiiiit.
Girl #2: How’s your fucking nose now, whore?
*Tourist hick teen to others: Everybody’s wearin’ shoes!